Balanced self-assessment has never been my strong suit. One reason could be that I don’t think in relative terms, I think in personal terms. Perhaps it’s the storyteller in me that compartmentalizes each person by their own journey. I’m not in competition with someone whose life I’ve not lived. Either I’m living up to my own standards and ethical barometer or I’m not. As I’ve matured, I’ve learned to cut myself some slack upon taking a more measured look at my life.
For instance, I’ve often thought of myself as impatient, even though when people meet me they comment how calm I appear. I think it’s because my workarounds for impatience don’t follow traditional logic. For instance, getting stuck driving in traffic annoys me. Cars crawl along because drivers fixate on phones, dig in glove compartments, or partake in various other tasks instead of driving. As a result, for the last 29 years I’ve preferred to get around by bicycle to ease my impatience on the road. Not a logical leap for most but it works for me.
Growing up in Fremont, California in 80s, I loved going to the butcher shop with my mom. Each week we’d pile in the car knowing that Vera’s Bakery and Kohne’s Video were next door to the butcher. While our mom picked out dinner, my brother and I queued up for one cupcake each. My brother devoured his cupcake before making it back to the car. Meanwhile, I cradled my bag between my legs awaiting more ideal eating conditions at the table once I got home. I never thought of this as patience, but this type of delayed gratification would come in handy later in life.
The summer I graduated college, my dad helped me set up a universal life insurance policy. For eleven years, each quarter I’d deposit $260 into my insurance account. Regardless of how broke I was throughout my 20s, I made that payment even if it meant living on pizza and water that week. I watched the balance grow, excited that I could borrow against it in the future. Though not an ideal investment vehicle, it taught me financial discipline in a low risk way that required action from me. I bought my first house in 2015 with a downpayment from that account and that house appreciated nearly 170% in two years at which time I sold it for a nice profit.
Patience goes hand in hand with independent thought. Instead of following the lead of others and falling victim to groupthink, I do my research, trust what feels right for me, and choose a path and a timeline that works. I don’t always feel patient but I’ve learned that as long as I respect my sense of time, I feel at peace with the outcome and can be less critical about my process.
